Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Depths of Dispair

So what do you do when there is no answer from God? When He seemingly is silent? You can talk to Him about everything but one subject? Currently it feels like He is answering other small prayers and my friends prayers....but I get a silent wall. For awhile I had believed the lie that He forgot about me and I am just waiting to be found again. Not true. I know He hasn't forgot about me but now it is just a flat awkward conversation when it comes to a job/career. It's like the white elephant in the room. So then I go through the "steps" of making sure that there is nothing hindering my prayers:

  • How are my relationships?
  • Is there a secret sin that I haven't confessed?
  • Have I not forgiven someone?
  • Do I need to ask for forgiveness?
  • Am I thankful enough?
The list can go on and on, yet as of now, I feel like there is nothing that I did or continue to do. I only write like this when I am extremely frustrated and overworked mentally about something.  The classic Christian line is to "pray about it". So what then? Do I need to memorize a couple of verses and hope something clicks soon? .......Yep. I get to wait as did Joseph in jail, David in the desert, Joshua for the Promised land and numerous stories from Scripture. Proverbs 3:5-6 - that's all I got for now.